Tuesday, March 15, 2011

2:00 am Love Songs

Last night, like every night at around 2:00 am, I was unmercifully slapped in the face by an impatient dog asking to go "pot pot".  In my opinion, based on the struggles we continue to have house breaking, I'm willing to put up with this inconvenience.  I would prefer a gentler means then sharp paws on the nose; however, with the way some of my hallways smell, I'll take whatever I can get.

Up I go, Tank, the paw smacking culprit follows.  I pick up Tulip, a 12 pound Shih Tzu, who manages to push a 230 pound man to the edge of a bed, and carried her downstairs. Tank is the pee warrior.  He knows what he needs to do and does it.  Tulip, on the other hand, is the pee princess pain the arse.  I normally have to go out and beg her, "Go Pot Pot, Tulip, for a Treat!"  My neighbors must think I'm an idiot.  I coax her and cheer her on.  It's a ten minute process.  God help me if I ever have to go pee.  I might have to squat down and show her how to do it. 

After the last drop is dropped and the treats are distributed, we crawl back into bed and attempt to find our comfort zones.  (By the way, I must confess we never bought that king size bed.  We priced them and they were far too expensive for our budget.  As soon as my blog brings in more than $1.86, we may re-consider.  However, I am excited to say that my writing is finally contributing financially to the well being of this family.) 

This brings me to the point of my story, the secret, lovely conversations and giggles which happen in the middle of the night between lovers.  Ok, ok...I'm not talking about the naughty stuff.  Get your heads out of the gutter! 

Eric:  <groggy> "Oh, you where gone?"

Bri:  "Duh!"

Eric:  "Sorry."

Bri:  "Whatever.  I was already mad at you from my dream so I thought I'd keep it going."  <giggle>

Eric:  "Huh?  OW!  TANK!  OFF!  I'll take Tulip up here, she's smaller."

Bri:  "Tankie, it's ok..he's a big poop ball.  Over here sweetie.  There you go.  Oh, I see, you'll cuddle with Tulip but not with me?!"  SICKO!  See how you are?!"

<laughter, Bri kisses Eric on the forearm as he knocks Bri in the eye> 

Bri  "OW!"

Eric:  "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry!"

Bri:  "You're killing me, Larry!"  Next time I'll whallop you instead of kissing you."  <giggle>

Eric:  "I love you, Breezy."

Bri:  "Whatever!" <giggle>  "I adore you, Potsie."

2 minutes later...

Bri:  "Shit!"

Eric:  <groggily> "What?" 

Bri:  "I have to go pee!"


Pat said...

LOL - I love it.
BTW - Don't laugh but, when we first got George and he was nervous about using the back yard, one day I just showed him what I wanted him to do. It worked too. :)

Brenda said...

OMG I am hysterical right now

Leigh Ann said...

DON'T LAUGH? Come on, Pat...really? LMAO!!!