Wednesday, March 23, 2011

As Usual, I Missed My Turn

I almost took up residence in Kansas yesterday.  Why Kansas?  Colorado is interesting whereas it borders so many states. To the north is Wyoming.  Been there.  The south, New Mexico which I'm always driving through on the way back to California.  To the west, Utah.  My car is close to 12 years old and makes strange clanking sounds.  There is no way I'm attempting to go over the Rocky Mountains in old Bessie.  Besides, she's done me well over the decade.  That's not a nice way to bid adieu to an old friend, making her suffer so.  To make a long story short, I had my options but Kansas seemed simple, easy, uncomplicated and flat.

As usual, I missed my turn.  Instead of turning east, I turned west and ended up at Barnes and Noble Bookstore on 120th and Colorado, sucking down a venti skinny mocha, no whip, 3 Sweet N' Lows with 2 shakes of powdered cinnamon, and playing Cooking Academy 2 World Cuisine on my laptop.

What led me to this moment?  Let me explain.  Right out of high school I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life.  I started taking journalism courses at a local city college, attending a broadcasting training school in Hollywood, interning at CNN and all of this while balancing two part time waitressing jobs.  My plate was full but my dream was clearly in front of me.  I wanted to be a TV news anchor.  What happened?  I burned out.  Plain and simple.  At the time, I blamed it on everyone and everything but myself.  I quit the broadcasting school one class shy of landing a placement.  I was good.  One doesn't become an intern at CNN unless you are but instead I left it all behind and started working in dark, ugly office cubicles.

So yesterday my husband had set up a field trip for the boys to meet privately with our local Fox affiliate weatherman, Chris Tomer at the news station in Denver.  It was amazing.  He was so gracious.  He walked us through the station, sound stage, and the production booths.  We met the camera men and news anchors...and then it hit me - this was what I had wanted for myself so many years ago.  This was the dream of a young girl right out of school.  The lights and the excitement.  Sitting in front of a computer writing news copy and then reporting it on camera.  Deep sigh. 

As we drove home, I felt as if I were in a different place.  A mom with two special needs children discussing how they had done so well only making one fopaux by commenting about boogers in front of Mr. Tomer.  Driving home to the Denver suburbs, planning out the kids schedules for the rest of the day, thinking about groceries and dinner and washing some laundry before Austy's OT (occupational therapy) appointment on Thursday and I wondered, "how did I get from there to here?"  Then I thought, hmmm...Kansas.

It's so true that life never starts and ends where we think it should.  My life is still in mid-swing so I'll be quite interested to see where it eventually ends up.  Also, had I not made that wrong turn, I would have missed a perfectly lovely calzone for dinner last night, staring into the beautiful grey pools of my husband's eyes through my soda straw, and laughing with him at my boys' bizarre, miscellaneous comments coming home from the restaurant.

I realize that we're all put on this Earth for a purpose.  Perhaps mine wasn't meant to be the next Katie Couric.  Perhaps my purpose was to be my boys' mother, Eric's wife, the person who holds your hand when you pass away.  Perhaps my greater purpose is still yet to be decided.  


Brenda said...

Can I just give you a great big hug right now?

Anonymous said...

You have touched so many people with the path you have chosen. Thank you.

Bri Potts said...

To my anonymous friend...thank you for the confirmation.

Bri Potts said...'ll have to have a long reach. I'm waaay down south in the state (but not in Kansas). I'll accept it when I get back ;)