Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I'm So Pickin' Confused!

I don't think so...really?

Did my husband actually tell me last week that he would be home late tonight? I don't recall. He says he did. He can describe the moment, what we were eating, etc. I don't believe him!  He lies like a cheap rug.  (By the way, all you women who think he's cheating on me and ready to ditch me, think again.  I treat him so badly that if he were going to leave me it would have been years ago.  Nope.  He loves me.  He's hooked.  Sorry.  This late night is truly business related.  I'm keeping him for now.)

William told me that he has no homework over spring break. This one is questionable. Come on! No homework for a freshman in high school over spring break? Did he really tell me that? Geez, I can't remember...drat!

Austynn asked me the other night for his Game Boy. I told him it was confiscated for three days as a consequence for his temper tantrum over the weekend. "You never told me that!"  I'd never say it out loud but I'm wondering, "Didn't I?"

I question my dogs. Did they really go pee outside? I mean, I saw them squat (I'm so ashamed. Tank is a boy but he pees like a girl. Eric must see to this). Sometimes I have a sneaky suspicion that they pretend just to get their treat. Why else would I step in a warm, wet spot five minutes later in the middle of my hall?

For all of you classic movie connoisseurs, please consider the movie Gas Light with Ingrid Bergman. Her handsome husband played by Charles Boyer secretly plots to convince her that she's stark, raving mad for his own diabolical purposes.

I believe that's what's happening here. They're all out to get me! It's all some sort of evil plot to convince me that I'm getting old and can't remember from one day to the next what's been discussed. I think they're mad at me because I comment from time to time about their disgusting habits on my blog. And so, let the battle commence!

Now what did I say I was going to write about...?


Leigh Ann said...

Oh, Lordy, Bri...we have that same conversation in my house all the time. Ron: "I told you that the other day"...Me: "No, you didn't, I'd remember that"...all the time! AND what's even funnier, I always accuse him of trying to GASLIGHT me! Of course, I had to explain the plot of the movie to him so he'd know what the hell I was talking about. So, it's not just you, dear friend...and it's not just us either...those men of ours forget plenty, too. It's called 'selective remembering', the cousin of 'selective hearing'. So, what I have deduced is that they selectively remember telling us something, but since they selectively listen to us, they never really hear us answer. They probably tell us these things in their sleep, the shower, on the drive home from work, etc. They distinctly remember telling us, we just weren't there to hear it.
See? It's not us, Lady...it's THEM!
Love ya! Muuaahh!!

Brenda said...

Bri, my dear, you are not experiencing age or the Gaslight scenario. You are experiencing children. While most parents slowly lose brain cells with their kids, we actually have our brain cells explode at twice the rate and sometimes with such force that we can hear them popping. Boys like ours feed off of our brain cells like zombies. There are days they wake up and crave the sound of the exploding memory. Fathers get it too, just not as badly. Hang in there. By the time they're 18 we will be vegetables, enjoy it while you can. xoxo

Bri Potts said...

As long as I can choose which vegetable! It will most decidedly not be cauliflower.

Leigh Ann said...

I was wondering what that popping sound was...