Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Take a Deep Breath and Stretch

I knew I couldn't find my computer for a reason.  All it takes is a moment to clean my glasses.  I really have to get use to the process of looking through lenses in the morning.  I had this ridiculous thumb print in the center of my right "goggle" for use of a better term.  I'm sitting here squinting.  How ridiculous.  My apologies, I digress.

There is a reason I'm procrastinating.  I'm stretching myself to do something that's uncomfortable for me this morning.  I've been asked to distribute Holy Communion to a nursing home.  This in itself is not the awkward part.  The nursing
home in question also asks that I offer a church service including a commentary or homily on the daily bible scriptures.  This is just not my thing.  Thinking about it makes me want to crawl back into bed and call in sick.  No can do amiga. 

So, this got me thinking about the things I've pushed myself to do in the last several years.  Yes, I've felt nervous about them.  Could I have crawled back into bed?  Sure - but I would have missed out on some amazing moments.

My wedding day to Eric.  I was petrified!  I thought, how could I get married again?  I screwed up royally the first time and I wasn't prepared to hurt my best friend and ruin his life.  Walking down the gang plank towards the boat (we were married on the Colorado River), I was ready to turn and run.  I even had two strange, drunken dudes from the beach party below try to talk me out of it (they were doing a pretty good job too).  No.  I took a deep breath.  I ignored the king sized hotel bed calling my name (by this time scattered with rose petals) and boarded the boat to my destiny and the best decision of my life.

Adopting my boys.  Eric and I could have taken the safe route.  We could have adopted infants or not have adopted at all.  We knew the boys had horrific backgrounds and a lot of emotional problems.  You would be amazed at who and how many people tried to talk us out of our decisions.  We prayed, talked, cried, and jumped in with our eyes wide open.  It's been hard.  I won't lie about that.  We have a very difficult road ahead of us; however, God would have never given us the boys if He didn't think we could manage somehow.  We love them.  We wouldn't change a thing.

I was laid off from work, Eric quit his job, we pick up and move to a state without any prospect of employment, buy a beautiful new home and just hang out for awhile looking for jobs.  I'm thinking that was kind of nervy.  No family, a friend over fifty miles away and we're totally laid back and relaxed.  I think this reflected our Southern California roots just a wee bit.  What do you think?

Geez, all of a sudden this blog has become way too serious (in a good way, I suppose).  I have the cajones - well, not really - to get married to my best friend, adopt two special needs brothers who require an amazing amount of attention, move from everyone and everything and start up a new life in Colorado.  I think I'm pretty good at stretching myself to do things which may be a little frightening or a tad bit uncomfortable. 

I can't even imagine what my life would be like if I went back to bed and hid under the covers.  It would be so damn boring.  I guess I'd better stop rambling and get ready for the nursing home.  If I can do this stuff I can certainly talk about scriptures for a few minutes.

1 comment:

Brenda said...

Awesome way of looking at it all, Bri. I am proud of you for stepping ahead when the bed calls your name. That is really hard sometimes. You are awesome. :) Love you!