Friday, May 27, 2011

Go Ahead, Play With Fire. Make My Day!

I should know better by now than to place a lit candle in my upstairs hallway and say to my autistic 12 year old, "Please don't touch the candle."  It's like screaming, "PLAY WITH FIRE!  GO AHEAD.  YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION!!"  Sometimes I can be such a dumbass.

So last night, my eldest son yelled downstairs, "Someone (aka, the House Troll) tried to light the clock on fire!"  Wonderful.

Eric, my husband, ran upstairs to investigate the damage and how it might have happened.  Yes, indeed it was true - it was not an accident, it was arson.  I could have told him this before the crime scene investigation commenced.  I always place the cheap, wooden desk clock far, far away from the smelly $2.00 Glade candle before I light it.  I knew it was intentional and I knew who the culprit was. 

The suspects were brought before us.  Each were given a chance to come clean before the other brother.  Accusations were tossed about like water balloons.  It was very ugly.  Lots of screaming.  Lots of finger pointing.  Then dad jumped in and tried to undo what had already been done.  Impossible situation.  Privileges were taking away for the evening, the week, the summer, a lifetime.  No one would budge.  Such darn stubborn children!

Finally, I couldn't take it any more.  I sent my 15 year old up to his room to debrief with Dad as I sat with my youngest who was still pounding his fits on the dining room table.  At this point, I always ask for his glasses.  There's no point in paying for new ones if it can be avoided.  I asked him to go up to my bedroom with me and this is how the conversation went...

Mom:             Austynn...?

Austynn:        What?

Mom:             Austynn?!

Austynn:        What!

Mom:             I know you did it..

Austynn:        I didn't do..

Mom:            STOP!  Let me finish please!  I know you did it.  I take partial responsibility because I planted an itty seed in that head of yours..

Austynn:       It grew into an idea Mom but was an accident.  I only wanted to see if I could put the candle out with the clock.

Mom:           I know.  You weren't trying to start a fire but you could have.  That clock was old and dry Austy.  That's where your responsibility kicks in.  You are NEVER to play with fire.

Austynn:      I'm sorry Mom.  I wasn't trying to start a fire.  Is the clock ruined?  I'm sorry.

Mom:          Yes, the clock is toast.  I know you're sorry.  But remember, you can never, ever play with fire again.  Now I think you owe your brother and Dad an apology.

Austynn:     Ok.  Do you think I have the clock now to take apart for the motor?

Really?!  Deep sigh.


Brenda said...

That is so not funny and yet for some odd reason I'm cracking up. You did well with Austy though, congrats. I'm glad a disaster didn't happen.

But, inquiring minds want to know...did you give him the clock?:)

Bri Potts said...

Hell NO! No rewards for my little fire bug, piss ant last night. *grin*