Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I've Come Out of the Closet and It Feels Good

Hello, my name is Bri Potts and I think I may be a closet Hollywood Gossip Follower.

While standing in the grocery store check-out line, I allow my eyes to wander past the candy bars and water bottle stands, past the cheap cigarette lighters and the pine tree car deodorizers, and allow them to rest on the most sensational gossip headlines of the day, "Kirstie Alley Falls During Rehearsal, Then Earns First 10 on ‘DWTS’! " and "Inside Kate Gosselin’s Busy Derby Eve". 

Of course, I would never stoop so low as to actually pick one up and read one.  No!  That would be admitting to my husband and the rest of the world that my interest in such base information has sunk to a new low.  I'm a Time Magazine and a New York Times type of girl.  I do not support such trash.  Never mind that the first thing I open in the morning on my Internet is the Celebs & Gossip tab.  What's happening in the world of Bradjelina?  I don't know what you're talking about.  Poor Jennifer!  She was such a sweet girl.  And little baby Louie?  He's much better off with Sandra.  He doesn't need that rascal, Jessie James in his life.  How could he do that to the little guy and Sandy?!  Oops...

Yes, it's true.  I'm hooked.  When I'm at my local hair salon sitting under the blow-dryer with enough foil on my head to contact distant galaxies, I soak up gossip rags with such fervor it's humiliating.  If it wasn't for the fear that my hair would fall out in bright orange clumps, I'd ask my friend, Melissa to keep me under the dryer for a few hours longer to finish their collection of post dated reading material.

My husband has had his suspicions for years.  How could he not when I pause for longer than 10 minutes on channels like Entertainment Tonight or TMZ?  Perhaps it's the long conversations with my mother after the annual award ceremonies about the dresses or the bizarre behavior of the entertainers versus the actual performances.  It could be so many things.  And, of course, he's always right.

Why do we do this as a society?  Why do we examine, under a microscope, the lives of entertainers?  They are, after all, just people.  They have colds, temper tantrums, they get constipated, they do everything we do.  I know why I'm fascinated.  As a hectic, crazy person who struggles every day with how to pay the bills, why the heck I forgot an appointment, or wondering how long it's been since the family has taken a vacation - I get excited for people who seem nice and can afford to do things that I can't.  I actually find myself rooting for particular entertainers.

I know this sounds odd and it seems truly strange typing it, but if the lifestyles of some of these people take my mind off of my insane world for a few hours, then as of today, I'm coming out of the closet. 

My name is Bri Potts and I'm a Hollywood Gossip Follower.  Ahhh, that felt good. 

No comments: