Thursday, June 9, 2011

Diablo, The Devil Blackhead

I can not concentrate.  I have a pimple, not just any pimple - a zit - sitting underneath my glasses at my brow line waiting, begging for me to run to the bathroom and pop it.  It has been consuming me all day as I've been staring at my blank computer page waiting for something inspirational to type.  It's hideous, and I know if I succumb to the mirror and my sick and twisted need, it will become that much uglier. 

I'm aware that I'm not the only one in the Internet world who does this.  In fact, I know a few good friends reading this now who are smiling and nodding their heads in agreement.  We are part of the pimple popping proud - a group who can not sit by and allow ourselves to walk out of the house bearing a whitehead on our nose like it's some sort of extra appendage.  It must be attended to.  I have been known to chase my 15 year old son before I allow him to leave for school with such a hideous growth on his face.  He either takes care of it himself or I will do it for him.  Thank goodness he has a strong prescription strength acne medication so that it's not a problem any longer.

Let's face it friends, it's hard to look at someone in the face if there is something gruesome staring back at you.  Just yesterday I was having coffee with a neighbor and she had a huge blackhead above her upper lip.  Within moments of eyeing it I named it, "Diablo".  For the life of me, I can barely remember what we talked about for an hour and a half.  All I wanted to do was attack Diablo. I don't think she would have minded.  In fact, I think she would have laughed out loud had I asked but it's that sticky, uncomfortable initial moment which held me back.  "Excuse me dear friend, can I squeeze the hell out of that thing staring at me from across the table?  It looks like it needs a cup of coffee of it's own."  How awkward.

I repeat, I'm not the only one out there in the Internet world who feels as strongly as I do about this topic.  There's a plethora of pimple poppin' people who enjoy facials for far more than the hot towel wraps and avocado masks. We're the ones who wait longingly for the pore extractions. We pout when our partners deny us access to their "bacne" (back pimples) and will refuse them the simplest of favors until they allow us a squeeze.  And finally, we're the ones who spend unknown hours in front of the mirror examining the smallest blemish on our faces and turn them into enormous mega-monster zits within moments.  For this purpose alone, I could never purchase a magnifying mirror.  It could be a disaster. 

Why do we do this?  It is a compulsion, an obsession, and well - I'll be right back.  That forehead zit is completely overwhelming me...  

1 comment:

Brenda said...

I raise my hand as one of the card carrying members of the club.