Thursday, June 16, 2011

"Fluffy" People Of The World, UNITE!

Ok.  I'm just going to blog about something gross today.  It's on my mind.  I'm rambling and it can not be helped.  If you're thin, I don't know if this is or has ever been an issue for you.  I've never been thin so therefore I can not say with any certainty that you will be able relate to this blog.  If you can't, well then, you can read the following, be completely grossed out, and work hard at never gaining a pound in your life.

Furthermore, I have no one to impress.  My husband thinks I'm sexy.  Even when I weighed my whopping 3000 pounds, I was a Goddess (he's an amazing man).  All of my past lovers who might read this blog know me well enough that I tend to say what I want to say.  Also, they have probably witnessed first hand what I'm going to write about.  So, que sera sera!

Without further ado...sweat rashes.  Disgusting!  There is nothing more nasty in the world.  Well, there may be but as of this morning, not so with me.   Today I woke up and underneath one of my charming belly rolls was the itchy offender.  One small, pink gruesome spot that if not attended to immediately will spread into a smelly, slimy, unattractive infection which could last for days.

I happen to know that I am not the only "fluffy" person that this happens to.  My husband gets them periodically as well as my sister.  But dammit, does anyone ever openly discuss them?  Hell no!  Why?  Because we're ashamed of them, that's why.  I think this summer fluffy people everywhere should come out of their closets and admit when they have sweat rashes.  "I'm sorry, my dear.  I can't go swimming today because I have a horrifying sweat rash under my thigh roll."  What's so hard about that?  The rest of us would totally get it.  I know I would.  

And, might I add, if we if all stood united in this malady we would come together in the remedy.  My personal theory is to place a dry washcloth or towel under the "offending body roll"; however, if the roll isn't that large, what is the explanation when the towel starts hanging out of from the bottom of your pants?  Been there, done that!  It's rather embarrassing.

Ok.  I'm done rambling.  I have a small, pink gruesome spot which needs to be attended to.
By the way, I'm guessing that Doris Day never suffered from sweat rashes.  Oh well, que sera sera!



1 comment:

Brenda said...

LOL! I am a fluffy and I am still waiting for you to get in the damn pool with me. (sigh) Get rid of the offender and get your suit on damn you!