Sunday, August 28, 2011

Me impulsive? Nooo!

I talk a good game about my two impulsive ADHD boys but I have a confession to make, I'm a bit impulsive myself.  There's no ADHD in me, yes Bipolar and some serious OCD stuff every so often, but ADHD?  No.  Sometimes I open my mouth and what I call "verbal diarrhea" just comes dribbling out (my apologies for the visual).

When I was 13 years old and Trick-or-Treating with two of my best friends we disobeyed our parents and had gone to an area of town where we didn't belong. As we were walking home, several older teenagers threw raw eggs at us from across a wide street of traffic. Typically the best thing would have been to just ignore them and walk away. My friends suggested this but oh no, not me. My first impulse was to scream some choice four-letter expletives and tell them where they needed to burn for the rest of eternity. Of course, this was directly in front of the church where I was confirmed as Catholic. Obviously, I took my religious education very seriously.  A chase ensued until we found sanctuary in a Korean Presbyterian building further down the road. These lovely people were probably praying for the very souls that ran into their church that night. A witch and two promiscuous baby dolls. Holy Moses, we were saved!

A very sweet co-worker once confided to me about her ovarian cancer diagnoses.  She found out that morning, was in complete shock and decided to come back to the office to try to find her composure.  Oh my gosh, I was certainly the wrong person to look for it with.  Talk about verbal diarrhea!  Instead of comforting her, what did I do?  I went on and on about what a dangerous form of cancer it was, that my paternal grandmother died from it as a young woman, and yada, yada, yada.  Eventually I looked up and met her horrified eyes.  Yep, the damage had been done.  Hello?  Knock, knock?!  Was there anyone available to do'h slap this chica because she had obviously left her semi-smart ass at home and brought this stupid spewin' moron fool in her place.  Needless to say, my lovely co-worker immediately went home in tears to recover.  God bless her.  Today she's in remission and doing just fine.  Obviously, I only hear from her when she's doing well.     

There are other times that it's not what I say but what I do.  If I'm at a pool party and I see a fully dressed fannie leaning over talking to someone in the pool, it doesn't matter to me to whom this fannie belongs.  In fact, it doesn't even cross my mind.  This fannie and the body in front of it needs a shock of cold water.  Seriously, why on Earth would the fannie place itself so close to the water's edge?  In my mind there isn't even time to contemplate it, only time for instinctive action.  Oh, they were wearing a Rolex?  Well, aren't those things expensive so they'll withstand impulsive fools pushing them into swimming pools? If not, why wear them to a pool party?  Geesh!  Besides, when I really consider it, I did that person a big favor.  Now they can continue the conversation without straining their necks. 

Impulsivity.  Based on some of my above examples, it's not always best to do or say things without forethought; however, there's so much of my personality that comes through with this curse or gift because really, for me, I consider it both.  A curse in that I've created a lot of mayhem with it but a gift in that it has allowed me to take chances I would otherwise never have dreamed of.

What are you crazy enough to do with this moment in your life?   Quick!!  It's giving you two immediate choices.  If you just thought about it, you took the safe route.  If not, you jumped from the roof of a house (if you're a gal, you're wearing a yellow dress) and into a swimming pool below (yes, I have done that too).  Take a chance, be impulsive, and ask yourself afterwards, "Did I really just do that? and "Wasn't it fantastic?!"

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