Thursday, August 4, 2011

What are my kids going to say next?

Do you remember that old TV show with Art Linkletter in the 1950's and 60's and some of the specials with Bill Cosby in the 80's called, Kids Say the Darndest Things?  I wasn't even born when some of the older ones were filmed but I remember the re-runs and getting a kick out of them. 

Yes, kids do say the darndest things but for the most part the kids in these shows were 4 or 5 years old.  Grown-ups expect goofy things coming out of their little mouths.  Having interesting conversations with them is really kind of fun; however, when odd things come out of the mouths of 13 and 15 year olds, it's hard to offer up an explanation.  Most people don't realize that it might be a form of social autism called, Asperger's Syndrome.  So when we, the parents of these autistic children, watch the confused or shocked faces of the adults on the receiving end of these comments - for me anyway - I don't know whether to offer up an explanation or burst into laughter.

It would be difficult enough to have just one kiddo with Asperger's but to have two adopted biological brothers with it, it's like trying to predict global weather without radar.  Eric and I are flying blind.  It's impossible.  The only thing going for us is instinct and self-preservation.  If we can dodge a storm by sensing it on the air, then Hell's Bells we're all for it.

Here are a couple of examples based on true experiences:

Eric and I know that based on William's past, he does not like the sound of crying babies.  Because of this and his Asperger's, we would never sit in a restaurant where there is a screaming child (plus, I would have an issue with it too).  If we did, William in his non-social (Asperger's), impulsive (ADHD), baby-hating (pre-adoption) way would very loudly holler (don't forget, he's partially deaf and even though he's wears his hearing aide he still likes to holler in restaurants), "If someone doesn't shut that baby up, I'll chop off it's head and flush it down a toilet!".  Now imagine how quiet the restaurant gets after a comment like that is made.  Nice.  I think even the baby would stop screaming.

If we see a group of tough looking Harley Davidson dudes standing in front of a diner where we just happen to stop during a road trip (Really?  Yes, stupid, but we've done dumb things like this before),  Eric and I know to keep Austy with us and try to avoid the dudes.  Let's say they're smoking, have tattoos and body piercings, and aren't wearing helmets - everything that his mother, yours truly, has been preaching against since the day he's come to live with us (sorry dear friends who smoke, have tattoos and body piercings, and don't wear helmets - stay away from Austynn, you'll hear my preaching verbatim).  Of course, Austynn sees all the dangerous habits and once he gets started there is no stopping him.  Now this can go either way but normally they end up laughing their asses off and talking with our odd little guy about their bike's exhausts' systems.  It wouldn't surprise me if one day Austy doesn't walk away with a Hells' Angels jacket.  Go figure?

So yes, kids say the darndest things but in my case - they say the weirdest things too.  And, if you happen to know my family personally don't be shocked when this happens.  Just remember that my husband and I are always flying totally and completely off radar.

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