Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Yes, I'm embarrassed but you should be too!

Today I'm going to write about something that all animal lovers do - cat lovers, dog adorers, bird worshipers, snake charmers, guinea pig admirers, and the like; it's a common phenomenon and if we actually stop to listen to ourselves, we should be embarrassed, no - mortified.  Yes.  It's the garblely gook personal language that we've created with our wee loved ones, our pets.

Tulip Looking into the Camera
I thought about this when I was listening to my husband, Eric, asking his baby girl, Tulip (our two year old Shih Tzu), if she had to go potty.  It wasn't just a mere question this morning at 1:00am.  It was series of questions in almost identical order as if he were expecting her to answer.

"Toot Toot, do you need to go Pot Pot?  Do you need to go Pot Pot, Tootie?  Do you want to go Pot Pot for a treat?"  Over and over and over again.  This phrase haunts me in my sleep.  I hear it when I'm brushing my teeth.  It's getting so that I almost expect a treat when I go pee.  Sometimes I think maybe one day she'll have a smart ass response like, "Really?  I hate those shitty treats.  Why don't you throw me a bone instead!"  Who knows?  It could happen. 

Eric's not the only culprit.  I'm an equal opportunity silly talker.  I hear myself all the time saying things like, "Hey, Tankus Poopus (to Tank, our two year old Lhasa Apso)", or "Hello my little giiiiirrrrlieee!" to Tulip.  For me it's more how I talk to them than what I say.  I act like I'm totally in love with my pets, which I am for the most part.  The spoiled rotten beasties!
Bri and Tank

So, without further ado, I will share with you my silly voice.  Dwell on it, and if you will - consider for just a moment how stupid you must sound with your pets.  At least I'm coming out with how ridiculous I sound.  Let this be a warning to you; when you start expecting treats when you hear your toilet flush, start consulting a professional.  Your animals have taken over your life.

WARNING:  I sound demonic.  I absolutely terrify myself.


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