Saturday, October 1, 2011

Bugs. I hate bugs.


Everyone knows I have an aversion towards bugs.  Of course, mosquitoes are my main nemesis in life but bugs in general are disturbing.  I'm not afraid of bugs necessarily.  They're interesting and can sometimes be beautiful.  Bugs can make lovely music at night for instance, the symphony of crickets and cicadas around our home during the warm summer months is breathtaking.  I also have no problems chasing down a lost grasshopper in our garage and placing it into the bushes outside.  Yes, I save bugs.  I don't intentionally kill bugs unless they're mosquitoes, cockroaches or flies and if this is the case, then I whole heartily admit to being a ruthless bug murderer. 

My aversion to bugs stem from a couple of things; first, I don't like them in my home.  My opinion is that they have a lovely natural habitat directly outside my screen door and windows.  It is absolutely not necessary to cross over into my personal space.  If I'm in bed at night, it is extremely unnerving to listen to a beloved pet crunching on something other than a toy or a dog bone.  When I lived in Long Beach, California, the area was inundated with cockroaches.  One could seriously trip over the bastards walking down the street.  Roach Motels were not half as effective as my fat Tom cat; however, it did not make for a restful night's sleep. 

There are also the "feeding" type bugs that your children purchase to nourish their reptilian pets.  I don't like these bugs in my home either. Once my son forgot to secure his bug enclosure and allowed over 30 crickets the color of my carpet to escape, multiply, and have bug parties throughout the house for weeks on end.  This too was not a good bug experience.

Secondly, I don't like the idea of bugs near me.  When I'm sitting with friends, I particularly don't like bees landing on my bare leg.  I'm not one of those people who scream and upturn tables when this occurs, but I have yet to be stung and I have no intention on being so at this stage in my life.  (If someone doesn't get that damn thing off me, I'm going to hyperventilate!)

I don't like sharing my meals with bugs.  I realize that we are of this Earth, that the food we eat is of this Earth, and bugs - well, you get the picture; however, do I really need to think about this while I'm indulging in a lovely steak dinner?  No.  Do I want to go camping?  Do I enjoy camping?  Hmm, let me think about this...NO.


Finally, what is it about bugs which feel it necessary to locate mouths, noses, and ears at the most inconvenient moments?  Actually, is there ever a convenient moment?  I think not.  For instance, the hornet which flew into my ear while riding my bike across three lanes of traffic.  That was special.  Or, perhaps just last night...yes, I remember - as I was walking with my husband and friend chatting along a path, and a huge grasshopper flew into my mouth.  Cough, gag, sputter, spit...that was nice.  Nothing like a little after dinner dessert topped off with a nice dose of humiliation.

My aversion to bugs increased exponentially at 8:22pm last night.


No comments: