Saturday, October 29, 2011

I'm a total geek, a square peg, a goof ball to the tenth degree.

Halloween.  The one time a year when I can let my guard down and dress up or down to my heart's content.  Where I can expose my innermost naughtiest or silliest ideas.

One would think when going to an adult party, I could dress sexy.  Perhaps show a little more cleavage, expose a leg, etc.  I could be a German barmaid or a Renaissance wench.  Oh no, not me.  This modest goof ball must be a clown and when I type this, I'm not implying that I'm an actual clown, no.  To me, clowns in their own right are frightening, terrifying creatures which should be completely outlawed. (I apologize to my paternal aunt who is a volunteer white face hospital clown in Southern California.)  What I'm saying is that I usually wear goofy costumes which elicit laughter (or groans) from the other party guests.

I won't tell you what my costume is this year because the party is tonight but I can say what I've been in past years.  As I've mentioned in a previous blog about being mugged by my neighbor's dog, last year Eric and I were the neighborhood jackasses.  The year before, Eric and I arrived as swingers (good grief!).  Beyond that, the Tequila has blurred my memories but you, my friends and readers, get the general idea.

I never wear anything too revealing.  This year, my husband was striving for shocking.  What else is new.  So when he approached me to expose some cleavage, I was shocked.  (This is the blog word of the day, the "S" word.)  At first I teased him with what I was going to wear. I would be a prostitute (I had no intention to do this. Me, Miss Modesty?  Come on!  The, I can't leave the house showing a bit of skin, lady?  Give me a break!)  I wanted him to squirm at the idea.  Besides, no way was he going to let me wear this outfit.  Basically, it was nothing but a corset, panties, silk robe, high heeled pumps, and a feathered boa.  Then, after some thought (10 minutes), HE CHANGED HIS MIND!  My plan totally backfired on me.  I was not going to wear a nipple exposing corset to a Halloween Party with my friends and neighbors!  I wouldn't have any friends and neighbors left, thank you very much.  SHOCKING!  Good grief, who was this man wanting to show off his wife in such a way?  I want a divorce!  Awful, nasty, creepy guy!  Eeeew!!  "S" Word!!  Besides after the stripper debacle a couple of years ago (refer to prior blog), I would not expose my neighborhood to another uncomfortable evening.

So, this year I have gone the other way.  I will be modest, silly, and goofy.  I'm a Square Peg.  I will be covered basically from head to toe.  I will be the party clown and if this party will be memorable at all from the Potts' side of things it will have to be based on my husband's costumes.  Yes, that's right.  He has two.  The first of which is funny and has a slightly naughty undertone.  The second of which...oh my gosh, I just hope I have enough Tequila in me not to see the faces of my neighbors when he walks out from the bedroom wearing it.  Maybe everyone will finally understand that it's my husband, not I, who should be wearing the big scarlet "S" on the front of his shirt.  I'm a good girl I am!


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