Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Same S#$%, Different Day

Here I am again.  Another day, another huge bowl of "Candy Bar in a Cup" (also known as "Bri's Coffee").  My life seems like an eternal rerun of the movie, Ground Hog Day, with Bill Murray.  Every day is the same, with a bit of a tweak, in my ever elusive quest to get it right.

Today is already a little off.  I'd have to re-roll the film and it's only 5:56am.  Tank, my 24 pound Lhasa Apso, as sweet as he is, has determined that he must sit on my lap this morning.  This is unfortunate because he's always been jealous of my relationship with the computer.  It's very slow going when I have sharp claws pawing for my attention - or perhaps he has to go poo?  I can never be sure anymore.

In a few minutes I'll wake my son William up.  He'll ask for Oatmeal or a Pop-Tart for breakfast, he'll barely brush his teeth, beg me for a ride to school a few blocks away, and then sullenly head out the door for his morning walk.  Then, I'll have 30 minutes of sweet silence before Austynn tumbles out of bed and asks for a Pop-Tart too.  Part-Tarts are only given on those desperately late mornings, otherwise I make them something a little more nutritious.  The kiddos know this but they ask me every day for one.  I can practically time their requests down to the second. The Cartoon Network will be turned on for a half hour.  Austy will make his bed and sort of brush his teeth.  Mom helps with his hair, skin medicine, and out the door for the drive to school.  Silence.  Wheew.  Deep bliss.

Has anything changed yet from yesterday?  Only the welts raising up on my arm from Tank.


Time to feed the dogs.  Tulip, our princess and the weirdest of all Shih Tzus, can not be convinced that eating out of a dog bowl will not kill her.  I must feed her the gruesome, wet food in small amounts on the kitchen tile.  Not to worry clean freaks.  This particular tile area is probably the cleanest spot on my floor as I too am a clean freak and sanitize it thoroughly afterwards.  Nastiness! 

Bath time.  My one indulgence of the day.  This is usually interrupted by a number of things. 
  • One of the dogs didn't go poop poop outside when they were supposed to
  • I receive a phone call from Adams 12 School District asking me to take home one of my suspended children
  • A sudden and unexpected thunderstorm hits and every window in the house is wide open (after all, this is Colorado)
  • The smoke detectors go off because Austynn distracted me earlier and I left something in the oven
Once I finish dealing with any unforeseen incidents, I either run errands or take care of household chores.  Today for instance, Tuesday, I would be sorting, washing, and folding tons and tons and tons of family laundry.  How do three guys accumulate so much in just one week?  Good grief!

You know, I'm bored with this.  I don't want to do it anymore.  It doesn't change.  Even the laundry stays the same.  Same shirts, same ugly jeans.  Yuck!  I'm calling Bill Murray.  Maybe he can change it up for me.  Show me a new and exciting way to fold T-shirts or wipe toothpaste off the boys bathroom sink.  Because I've gotta tell you, folks - it really does feel like the same shit but a different day - except for Tank's scratches.  Dammit Tank, stop scratching me!


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