Friday, November 11, 2011

By the way, the cookies were an afterthought.

Why do I do it?  There is not enough time in a day to get everything done that I write down on my stupid, uptight, obsessive-compulsive, Wonder Woman Syndrome (WWS) list and yet I attempt the impossible. Tom Cruise has nothing on me. PLUS, might I add, Mr. Cruise does not believe that children have any such condition as ADHD.  Refer to the ridiculous, arrogant, and self-inflated interview with Today's host Matt Lauer which I've attached for your viewing enjoyment below.  (Don't even get me started on Mr. Cruise and his Scientology beliefs.  I made the heinous error of walking into a museum on Santa Monica Blvd. in Los Angeles which was secretly funded by the Scientologists down the street.  That was not a good day for the museum curator.  I pulled out my bottle of Adderall and let him have it.)  My theory is to lock pretty boy in a room with my unmedicated kids for a day and see how much Valium he'll need afterwards.

Aaanyway, so yesterday.  It started out well enough.  My first new idea was to take the pooches out for a walk after their breakfast.  Nice.  It was a beautiful morning.  They're small dogs.  45 minutes isn't too long of a process and it would be good for me too.  Wonderful!  I felt invigorated afterwards. 

I NEEDED TO SHOWER.  Not yet.  I started another load of laundry.

Laundry started.  Oohh.  I wanted to make those cookies which have been on my menu for weeks.  Yuck, dishes from breakfast.  I'll work around them.  In my excitement, I'd forgotten how many ingredients these cookies required.  Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Cloves, Oranges, I reached for the oranges I'd been hiding in the refrigerator.  The recipe required orange zest and 1/2 cup fresh orange juice.  DARN IT!!  Some one had found the oranges!  Isn't this always the way?  In my nasty clothes, hair in a half bun, and my disgusting slippers (not to mention that I smelled as bad as I looked), I considered leaving the orange juice out.  No, if the recipe called for a teaspoon or so that would be different, but this was a 1/2 cup.  Plus everything was already in the mixer.  DRAT!  Oh well, I needed gas in the car before the kids appointments so I would kill two birds with one stone. 

Gas Station first.  Off I went in my nasty clothes, hair in a half bun, and my disgusting slippers (not to mention that I smelled as bad as I looked).  Grocery store next.  Eyes down (no one stopped me or I would have murdered them and denied all involvement).  Thank goodness.  In and out.  The cookies were made and placed in the oven.

I NEEDED TO SHOWER. Not yet. I had to wait for the cookies to bake.

I started to prepare the frosting for the cookies.  At this point, I started clock watching.  Austynn needed to be picked up from school at 1:40.  He had an Occupational Therapy (OT) appointment.  I placed the soft butter and cream cheese in the mixer as well as the orange zest, 2 teaspoons of freshly squeezed orange juice, and the two cups of powdered sugar.  Just as I was going to turn it on low, my lovely dog Tank barked at my sweet dog, Tulip.  I was startled.  My hand jerked and instead of low, I hit medium speed.  Powdered sugar catastrophe.  It was everywhere - on my face, between the counter, on the floor.  A complete and utter disaster.  This is usually the point where I walk away from the kitchen and say, "SCREW IT!", but unfortunately Eric wasn't home to rescue me from my nightmare.  I did the best I could.  Cookies were eventually frosted but the kitchen was left a disaster.

I NEEDED TO SHOWER. No can do.  I changed my clothes, washed my face, and picked up Austy.  Arrgh!

Austynn had a good day, thank goodness.  I drove him to therapy across town but now his therapist wanted to discuss adding another day to his weekly routine.  Do I have another opening on my calendar?  Wednesday?  No can do.  He has respite right after school and then the home therapist shows up immediately following that.  Mondays?  Nope.  William has therapy every other week.  Fridays don't work.  You see him on Thursdays...  I suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to throw up.  We sort of worked it out.  Austynn walked back with her.  I drove back across town to pick up William from school and once again drove back across town to pick up Austynn before he got out of OT.  Just in time, wheew!

Now I had too face the daunting task of driving south, past downtown Denver, to get William to his hearing doctor for a post surgery follow-up appointment within 45 minutes. The news said there was a major accident.  I'd have to drive around the city on side streets.  Neither of the boys brought anything to keep them busy.  They argued the entire, traffic laden drive.  We barely made it.  The doctor walked in, took a look at William's head, said it looked good, asked if we had any questions, and told us to make an appointment for next month.  Deep sigh.  We were on the road again in less than five minutes.

We made it home less than an hour before Eric did.  When my dear husband walked in the door looking refreshed and handsome, I had a look of complete discombobulation on my face.  I was leaning against the  kitchen sink still stacked with breakfast dishes and was chomping down my third cookie.  My hair was sticking out of it's wild pony tail, my eyes were blood shot, I smelled horrific, and there was still powdered sugar all over the counters.

There were four things crossed off my stupid, uptight, obsessive-compulsive, Wonder Woman Syndrome (WWS) list:  Washing another load of laundry, taking the dogs for a walk, and the boys two appointments.  There were 12 things left undone.  By the way, the cookies were an afterthought.


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