Monday, July 30, 2012

$1.50 earrings and a million dollar machine.

I tend to do goofy things.  These goofy things embarrass the heck out of me.  Now granted, no one likes to place themselves into goofy situations; however, somehow I always manage to squirrel my way into them.  Thank God I have a good sense of humor and can bounce back quickly after humiliating myself.  I'm also grateful to be surrounded by friends and family who put up with my nonsense. 

As I've mentioned before, Eric my husband, has a benign brain tumor.  Every other year or so, he's required to have an MRI (magnetic resonance image) taken of the tumor to ensure that it's either remained the same or hopefully decreased in size since his radiation.

At this point in my story, I'd never been allowed in the imaging room with Eric.  I had always stood in the technician's room.  On this particular day, my husband was having a difficult time with the shots.  Eric has a terrible fear of needles.  For the procedure, a dye is necessary for detailing the contrast of the tumor.  I was asked to go in and help calm him down.

I knew the process.  No jewelry, no metal.  MRI machines are huge million dollar magnets.

I walked in, helped settle Eric down, and stood beside him for the next series of images.

After a few moments, my ears started to ache.  My first thought was that it was the noise of the machine.  The technician didn't hand me earplugs.  A couple of seconds later, it became worse.  My hand instinctively went to my ear to rub it and without so much as a thought...KERCHUNK!

The machine shut down as if by some sort of mechanical failure.  The overhead speaker turned on.

"Mrs. Potts?"


"Are you wearing earrings?"

Oh my God!  Those pieces of shit $1.50 earrings I bought last week..!  "Ummm..."  I checked my left ear, no earring.  I checked my right ear, piece of shit $1.50 earring..FUCK!...Come clean, Bri...


"Please leave the room immediately."

Eric's voice came muffled from the MRI machine, "What's wrong?  What's happened?"

I responded meekly to the technician, "I am soooo sorry."

"Bri?  What did you do?"

"Mr. Potts, your scan will have to be rescheduled."

"WHAT?!  NO WAY?!"

This was bad.  It was all I could do to get Eric to go to this appointment and the shots took their toll today.  Three failed attempts in the arm and finally the nurse managed to find a vein on his hand.  My husband will not reschedule.  Are we going to have to pay for the repairs, Oh my GOD!

"A mechanic will have to come out and repair the machine.  Once it's fixed, we'll call and reschedule your appointment, Mr. Potts."

The tech was purposely not looking at me.  That's ok.  To Hell with him.  I don't care.  No talk of costs yet...that's good..

"Mrs. Potts (uh oh..), when we find your earring we'll call you so you can retrieve it at the front desk."

I almost choked on my gum.  Seriously?  I'm never coming back here again.  You can throw that friggin cheap ass earring away! 

"No, that's ok.  Not necessary.  Just toss it.   Thanks."

He looked at me as if he were going to say something else; however, I didn't give him the opportunity.  I turned my back, clutching the other half of my piece of shit $1.50 earrings, and ran out the door as fast as my humiliated, goofy legs could carry me.