Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Blackbird and the Parakeet

There couldn't be a stranger scenario, yet two of the most opposite women somehow collided in a dingy psychiatric office in the middle of suburban Colorado.  One was introverted the other extroverted.  One brunette, the other blond.  One had dark, intense brown eyes and the other bright, animated blue eyes.  One woman was Jewish and raised in Florida, the other - Catholic and a Southern California native.  Dear friends and readers, those of you who know me personally or who've followed my blogs can guess which bird I happen to be.  The two birds became friends immediately.

This post is written for my wounded, feathered friend - no one else.  I've discovered that I suck at communication both verbally and in text; however, it seems that when I write for virtual reality, my magic marker seems to find its color.  So today I'm hoping my words flow with pretty purple, glitter ink because even though it would be a little over the top for this Parakeet, I know it would make my Blackbird happy.

The term, "Bull in a China Shop" describes me perfectly.  I bluster through life with absolutely no consideration for delicate objects around me.  I say and do what I'm thinking when or how it occurs to me.  I've always been impulsive.  I've been told I'm impulsive...accused would probably be a better term.  I don't like being accused of anything.  Unfortunately, being impulsive is one of my many downfalls. 

I've jumped into pools from rooftops.  Thrown an expensive ruby ring into the sea because I felt the romance of the moment compelled me to do it.  Based on the horrified look on my boyfriend's face, he apparently did not feel the same way.  I slapped my husband's face not once, not twice, but three times only to gauge his reaction.  Surprisingly, it was NOT a pleasant reaction.  And now, after struggling through a few misunderstandings and miscues with one of my best friends - the most impulsive thing I've ever done is I've given up a friendship.  I tossed in the towel.  AND the ugly and most shameful admission is that I didn't have the courage to tell her to her face; I did this nastiness in a text message.

How can I say I love someone one day and then the next just give up?  Love isn't easy.  It's not supposed to be; especially between two bullheaded, Bipolar, stubborn idiots like us. 

So, this bullheaded, Bipolar, stubborn red-headed idiot says she's sorry from the bottom of her heart.  Where's Lucy without Ethel?  And, after all, I'm only Lucy because you talked me into dying my hair red.

I don't expect you to forgive and forget.  Just understand that I am who I am.  I'm also trying to understand you.  Everyday there's a new dimension to my Blackbird that I've never seen before.  I also know you have a beautiful voice and I'm glad you're finally sharing it.  Now if I can just learn to shut the Hell up for more than five minutes at a time...

Thank you for sending me this song once upon a time.  It rings more true today than ever before.